Start Fighting the Real Enemy Instead of Fighting Yourself

From the Sources: Preface to The Gulag Archipelago

Disgust. Hatred. Loathing. Revulsion. Contempt. These are some powerful emotions. We as survivors of child abuse and mind control manipulation experience these emotions daily and often hourly. We experience them and they are almost always directed toward ourselves.

 

We hate ourselves. We go to great lengths to stop ourselves from doing things we feel are wrong or bad. We even try to destroy ourselves. We treat ourselves as our worst enemies. We direct our efforts against ourselves. 

We poison ourselves. We cut and stab ourselves. We injure ourselves. We starve ourselves. We lock ourselves away. We silence ourselves. We insult ourselves and degrade ourselves far worse than anyone else ever could. Sometimes, we even kill ourselves.

Meanwhile, the people who did this to us are walking around scot free. This is the source of our misery. We’re fighting the wrong enemy.

In reality, we have Two Kinds of Enemies.

The first kind are Enemies Outside Ourselves.

These are people who actively try to hurt and destroy us.

These are people who go out of their way to ruin us, to tear us down, to block us from accomplishing anything. These are the people who take delight in inflicting pain. They get off on seeing us suffer. They take advantage of us for their own gain. These are the people who milk us for everything they can get and then discard us when it comes time to reciprocate.

These people are our enemies. They don’t love us and we don’t love them. Both they and we ourselves are invested in a broken system with only one purpose and that is to keep the system going the way it is now. The system will only change in one direction and that is to get worse. It will never improve and our enemies would rather destroy us completely than change it or allow us to escape. That is the absolute last thing they want.

The second enemy is the Enemy Inside Us.

This is the part of us that does all of the above, except that now we’re doing it to ourselves. Our abusers don’t have to do it to us anymore because we’ve taken over doing the job to ourselves.

Believe it or not, the very hatred and disgust we feel for ourselves IS the enemy inside us. This is US inflicting pain on ourselves. This is US taking delight in our own suffering. This is US tearing us down, ruining us, and blocking us from any achievement. This is US calling ourselves every hateful name we wouldn’t tolerate anyone else calling us.

These are the muddy footprints our abusers left on our hearts and souls. These are our abusers internalized and immortalized in our thoughts and habits. These are the voices telling us we’re disgusting, stupid, ugly, worthless….

These are our true enemies, the enemies we should be fighting with might and main to destroy. These are our insecurities, our inhibitions, our blockages 

Our true selves, our underlying natures—who we really are at the very bottom—can never be our enemy. This is our strength, our essence. This is the God principle that lives in each of us.

We can never win the battle to get happy and healthy until we start fighting our real enemies.

Anything in our lives that came from our abusive experience is an enemy we should be working to eliminate or destroy. There is no place in a healthy life for those things.

Start fighting the real enemy instead of yourself.

Let your true nature blossom and grow in peace.

Creativity. Movement. Fulfillment. Meaning. Connection. Belonging. Bliss.

This is all you.

You are blessed. You are holy. You are necessary.

Your creativity is necessary.

Your movement is necessary.

Your fulfillment is necessary.

Your meaning is necessary.

Your connection is necessary.

Your belonging is necessary.

Your bliss is necessary.

 

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